Bhakti Files # 6 Noodles and Strudels.

I’ve spent a lot of hours, days and weeks of my life looking back at my childhood and trying to reconstruct, remember and somehow heal the reverberations of abuse and trauma. I used to think that the only legacy I got from my mother was one of alcoholism and self hatred. And still my Guru would tell us: “Mother is higher than God!” I couldn’t put it together.

But there was one thing that my mother used to do for me that became imbedded into my core because of it’s simplicity and sweetness. Whenever I had a tummy ache, which was often, she would gently rub circles on my belly and sing: “Noodles and strudels and lots of little poodles”. She was, of course, a dog lover. And a Jewish one, hence the strudel.

Tonight as I was putting my little boy to sleep, I had a strange and moving experience. After we read some books and told some giggly stories, I turned the light off and said goodnight. Then, with a voice so soft I had to lean in to hear, Ezra asked for “noodles and strudels”. With all my ‘Rams’ and ‘Krishnas’ and ‘Shivas’ he wanted noodles and strudels….. I felt my mother so strongly in the room and I felt her love and her gifts to me and writing about it now I have tears in my eyes.

What does this mean? I don’t really know, except maybe love is way bigger and stronger and longer lasting than the damage done by ignorance and fear. Maharajji said “The only thing that’s important is how much you love God!”. And when asked “What is the best form to worship God?”, He answered simply: “Every form”.